Blame it on the alcohol

Blame it on the alcohol

- a The Vampire Diaries one shot (Damon/Meredith) –

Meredith’s POV
With a sigh I signalled the bartender to refill my glass. It had become a somewhat bad yet regular habit of mine to come to the Mystic Grill after work whenever I lost one of my patients to drown my sorrows. Tonight was no difference.
“Shouldn’t you be out somewhere in the woods draining and killing vampires?”a smooth voice asked. I rolled my eyes at the familiar voice of Damon Salvatore while said vampire took a seat at my left.
“Don’t tempt me.”I muttered before downing my glass and signalling yet again for a refill. “Which number was that one?”Damon questioned the second the golden liquid appeared in my glass and ordered his own scotch.
“What is it to you?”I spat back not in the mood for a conversation, especially not with the eldest Salvatore. “Just want to know how much I have to pay at the end of our chitchat.”he remarked, hinting he would take over my tab for the evening.
“Number three.”I admitted before taking a sip of the alcohol that was slightly cooled thanks to the already melting ice cubes.
“I take it you have had a hard day at work then.”Damon remarked, glancing at me. I sighed deeply, not knowing if I should tell him or not. Or better yet… Not sure if I wanted to tell him out of all people.
“How do you tell a six-year-old his parents are dead?”I wanted to know causing the vampire next to me to silently waltz his scotch around in the glass, clearly waiting  for me to continue. “Half an hour before my shift ended, the victims of a car crash were brought in.”I spoke. “Three people, father behind the wheel, mother in the passenger seat and their son was sleeping on the backseat. The boy made it out with some scratches and a broken arm since when the car collided with the tree, he rolled from the backseat onto the floor.”.
“But the parents didn’t make it out alive.”he said before taking a drink himself. “They were alive when they were brought in.”I admitted. “Not much but… Their heart was still beating. The mother flat lined first. I even cut open her chest and massaged her heart with my hands in the hope it would start beating again but it didn’t. Then the dad flat lined and…”.
“You were tempted to use vampire blood, weren’t you?”he guessed. His comment made my stomach churn. How is it possible that a person I hate so much seems to know me the best?
“Yes.”I agreed. “But then the rational part of me kicked in. The risk of the dad dying with the vampire blood in his system was too big. He proved me that himself by officially dying three seconds later. And that brings me back to my question: how do you tell a six-year-old his parents are dead?”.

The vampire next to me stayed quiet for a minute or so before a small smile broke on his lips. Not the usual sarcastic and amused smirk he always wore, no… This one seemed sincere, full of emotion. Not Damon.
“I remember this one time when Stefan and I were kids and our mother was still alive.”he mused. “Stefan was around four or so and earlier that day we had found this small turtle all weak and ready to die near the pond in our garden. Being a kid means you’re naïve. You think you can battle death and win because that’s how it’s always supposed to go, no? In all the stories you read and heard the good always wins. The day you learn that’s not how it goes in the real world… A part of you dies.”.
“The turtle died.”I realised. “It did.”Damon answered. “We had tried to feed it, keep it warm,… Stefan cried his eyes out when that little creature not much bigger than the palm of my hand let out his last breath. I admit, I wanted to cry too but… At that moment I was the big brother who had to be strong for his little brother. Together with our mother we buried the turtle in our garden, not too far from the pond. I remember how sad Stefan was because of it and that I stayed with him in his room until he finally fell asleep. Instead of going to my own room, I went to kitchen to find my mother only to ask her the question that had been buzzing in my mind for the entire day already. Why did the turtle die?”.
“What did she tell you?”I wanted to know as Damon signalled the barkeeper for another refill for the both of us.
“She told me a story.”he revealed. “About how at the beginning of everything, life met death and they fell in love. But since they never could really be together, life sends death gifts on a daily basis and death keeps every single one of them close to its heart.”.
“Huh…”I muttered. “That’s actually a really gentle and poetic way to explain it to a kid.”. “That was my mother for you.”Damon mused, nursing his glass of scotch. “Gentle and she always knew what to say. Even now, more than 160 years later, I still think of that story whenever I lose someone.”.
“How do you do it?”I wanted to know. “As a vampire, you have an eternal life. At least… If you manage to avoid wooden stakes and vervain.”. My comment made the eldest Salvatore chuckle amused.
“You live on and on, and so does your brother.”I continued. “But everyone you ever care about, everyone human, they die in the end.”. “That’s the thing Meredith.”he replied. “Immortality isn’t a gift. It’s a curse. I accepted it so now I have to live with it.”.
“But… How do you do it?”I repeated. “Isn’t it easier to die yourself than to accept your loss over and over again?”. “It’s easier, yes.”he admitted. “But I’m not an easy person. Besides, with my mother on the other side, there has to be someone on this side to send her gifts, no? People who knew her sons, who can tell her that even though they’re not the same little boys she raised anymore, they somehow still are.”.
“And here I was thinking you had no humanity left in you.”I remarked earning an eye roll from the Salvatore.
“You know what I learned from all my years of saying goodbye?”he asked me after a second or two. I glanced at him, encouraging him to continue because I was quite curious.
“It hurts the most when you skip that goodbye.”he said. “Our minds can’t accept that a person is here the one day and gone the next. They need reason, they need time to say goodbye. Because the ‘good’ part of this goodbye is that even though the person leaves you, you still have all those memories you’ll never forget. And it are those memories you’ll rediscover when saying goodbye.”.
“Wow, that’s deep.”I commented. “Blame the alcohol.”Damon quickly covered his act of openness though his eyes betrayed this was one of the ‘lessons’ he lived by in his damned life. And just like that I spend the entire evening drinking away my worries with the vampire I loathed the most.
The weird thing however was, with every second that passed, Damon became more human and less vampire. Should I blame that too on the alcohol?